07 May When Grief and Loss Slip into Depression
Working Through Grief and Loss
Grief and depression can feel very similar, and they often overlap — but they’re not the same. Grief is a natural, healthy response to loss. Depression, on the other hand, is a clinical condition that can arise from grief but also has distinct features and may require different kinds of support or treatment.
As a therapist, grief and loss is something that presents itself in the counselling room over and over again. And grief is complicated; it has the potential to turn into a sense or feeling of actual “loss” from within you, leaving you with a sense of feeling depleted, spent, lacking and depressed. Look for the signs – if you find yourself experiencing this, you might need to see a counsellor or therapist which will allow you to process the mourning and work through it, culminating (hopefully) in the loss being resolved or completed. You might end up being surprised that what you are actually trying to process is not “sadness” at the loss, but you could possibly be grappling with more triggering feelings of anger, frustration or perhaps even hatred at what you have lost (all of which are perfectly normal). It’s also worth pointing out that grief and loss is not just about the death of someone – it can very much relate to the loss of a job / marriage break up / the passing of a stage of life or even our much loved pets.
It’s important to note that loss and death are part of life – as children we undergo extensive loss: loss of childhood, loss of mum (when a sibling is born), loss of innocence -these turning points are pivotal times of loss that require working through, or a “call to reality” that things are changing. How we overcame these childhood anxieties can play a huge part in determining our mental health as adults.
If we fail to come to terms with the reality of the loss, what can result is an internal, impoverished loss that feels like it comes from within – keeping us sunken with the grief. If this distorted sense of reality continues, they might feel a downward spiral of worthlessness and self-reproach which require careful untangling and management with the help of a therapist: “In mourning we grieve the dead, in depression, we die with them” (leader 2009). If we find that our sadness has been something we have been unable to recover from – if we are still unable to recover from our grief, then perhaps you might think about seeking a counsellor?
contact me to see how I can support you through your grief.
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